Spiritual crisis?

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Permalink Reply by Paul Eagle on June 16, 2009 at 9:01am

Very interesting post. I think the question I would ask is this"What, specifically, would you accept as proof?" You seem much more sensitive to spirit than many working mediums etc so what would be the convincer for you? The next question then would be "why?" - what would this evidence give you that you don't already have?
Best wishes, Paul.

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Permalink Reply by skydancing on June 16, 2009 at 5:11pm

I can understand some of what you say, l remember a healer telling me do you know linda you can ask God for anything. which l felt unworthy to ask Him for anything, l did have a falling out, or test of faith, when a young mother (l was her childminder) was tragically killed in car crash, l felt wicked people do awful things, that a lovely intelligent lady, (honouray doctor, wrote a book etc). It was shock, grief, what ever it was l was angry off was God, until l cried, now l am more closer to the creative spirit etc.. in my own faith.
We do tend to put barriers up, we allow negative thoughts to tread in, but remember what ever abilities we have, apart of us wants to be of service to spirit and those who seek our help. When, l face a problem, l imagin a rock, l ask God, or Jesus, to help me over this rock (my problem) in my minds eye l see a helping hand, then l know l can face what life has placed before me. I learnt to go with the flow, sometimes l do struggle, maybe its that what creates the barrier, trying too hard. Be kind to you, Nicola, at least you have the courage to seek help, ask your helpers in spirit to aid you with this, l hope l have in a small way help you too, it has helped me to look back on my own pathway. it is Good to know how far we have walked in our spiritual growth. People will always seek your help, is that not your proof. The fact your loved ones in spirit, who l think you sense around you, is that not proof, Try to go with the flow allow things to flow with Gods love, if spirit wishes to bring what you need, when you have around you every day. god bless sky xxx

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Permalink Reply by Nicola on June 20, 2009 at 12:21am

Skydancing,
Thank you for your reply. You also make a lot of sense, and I am beginning to see that my question has many answers, and also that what I seek is nether good nor bad. My spiritual journey has been long and was very spread out for many years, then it was concentrated to the degree I ate slept and drank with spirit! Now things are more controlled, but I don't think I will ever stop asking WHY LOL :O) At least none of you called me stupid, for that I am truly thankful, and I leave this space with a new perspective for witch I am truly grateful.

Thank you
Nicola x

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Permalink Reply by Nicola on June 19, 2009 at 11:52pm

Hello, and thank you for taking the time to reply to my post...
I have had a long hard think about all the replies to this very long question :O) and I have come up with one thing...
I have never had any training to be a medium, like many others I have travailed a bumpy road of discovery. Being a spiritual person can be lonely at times, especially times when your desperate to pick up the phone and tell the doctor your suffering from psychic shock! or run into the street and tell someone you need help to free you from the spirits that invade your home and personal life in order to gain there freedom from earth bound ties... this is not possible for obvious reasons

I did find some relief when I stumbled upon a spiritual minister who was also a medium of sorts, he lives very close and became a valuable source of information, and help... but it soon became clear I scared him to death, I was in my infancy with my skills, and was still unsure how to decipher the things I was given in a reading. I am an artist an decided to draw and paint what I was given, and the reading became ever complicated, sometimes having spirit with me for several days while I gathered endless images, and information,sometime I would produce a small book! but the sitters face would be so full of love and happy tears of remembrance and relief there loved ones were safe and happy, it all seemed worth while...
but what I considered to be a mentor... kind of dropped me like a hot brick and said " I can no longer teach you all I can do is guide" but he would come to me for reading, and to ask my advice...I found that to be a little disconcerting to say the least and once more I felt alone, to face this, although I still keep in contact I feel the help is limited, as we no longer share the same things, and dare I say there was a lot of jealousy developing,and to this day I have no idea why. I found the same attitude developing in the spiritual churches, so much back biting about who was better! WHY I back away from this scene and kept my own council and still do today, everyone can do what I do, just a case if it's your time, and even if it's not it can be developed to some degree or another, we are all linked to the higher power... but I do think the earth is a big class room and there will never be peace and good will, as it will always be a case of some are more advanced than other with there journey, young souls are so trusting, old souls so wise, I think the proof is all about me finding that kindred spirit, the one I can have these conversations with, and feel and no they know what I am talking about. I am nothing special, but feel I need a specialist friend?

Hope this makes sense
thank you all
Nicola x

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Permalink Reply by Heidi Clark on June 16, 2009 at 9:04pm

Hi Nicola, the doctors thought l had ME fortunately for myself this wasn't the case but one of the symptons l have is tiredness which probably isn't to the extreme of ME, however l think you will relate to tiredness and the feeling of being left behind, if you can understand what l am saying. l could compare it with a sleepless night when everything and anything is going through your mind (l even have visitors who l have never met) but there is so much time to disect and question and time on your hands throughout the day provokes the same.
l think it is healthy to question, whether we get an answer is a different matter! But believe there is a reason for all in life and when the time is right an answer will be there waiting for you. Having said that l know of a Medium who has point blankly said that if she did see an energy while doing a reading she would run a mile!
Hope this hasn't confused you and hopefully helped.
Feel the angel wings wrap around you.

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Permalink Reply by Nicola on June 20, 2009 at 12:02am

Heidi,
I very much agree with all you say, and very pleased you did not have M.E, it is so much more than being tired all the time, I am in my tenth year of debilitating pain from this infernal condition, but I do believe I am to learn a valuable life lesson from it, and it has certainly given me empathy and understanding to others.

I must say though you gave me a laugh when you said about your Medium friend who would run and the mere glimpse of spirit! ha ha ha but have been there as well so can understand, certainly bought back a few hairy moments for me, but little freaks me out now, after all I will join them one day ;O)...

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Permalink Reply by James on June 19, 2009 at 11:00am

Hi Nicola,
Thank you for being so honest and daring to post your true feelings where others can see them. I think Paul is right in asking what would you require as proof. Everything you mentioned would be more than enough proof for most people, yet still you doubt.. dare I say it, yourself.... and I think there is the solution. You first have to trust and believe in yourself. After all, what proof do you need that you personally and physically exist? An obvious answer is because you can see and feel yourself. But then how do radio signals work? You can't see them, or feel them, yet they are magically transformed into speech or sound once they reach your radio. Search within yourself for your own truth about who you really are, and then you can understand how interconnected we are within all the realms.

Best wishes, James

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Permalink Reply by Nicola on June 20, 2009 at 12:12am

HI James,
Mmmmm I hear were your coming from, I know how I do it, I think your right I may have little self belief. If you can understand I never held any religion although I was always very interested in all faiths... I loved horror movie's, I had great understanding even as a small child, hard to explain, its like I have spent my whole life as an adult!? sorry best way I can put it. Then suddenly I drop into a Medium roll, it's like I was chosen, but someone forgot to tell me or give me the information booklet, so I am kind of left in the dark. So I am always left looking for proof or, at the very least someone who knows about these things to say "Yes your on the right track" OR "NO don't go there" I guess I will stumble upon someone one day, who may or may not have been put in my path, an I may find the answers I seek, or are the questions I ask... a way of me keeping it real?

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Permalink Reply by Mick Avery on June 20, 2009 at 1:35pm

I think part of this may stem perhaps from the fact of, even though you know you see spirit and communicate and all the rest of it and yes, I know you have said you have confronted the 'why me' syndrome of you having these gifts and yet still having problems to face up to.
Part of the ever-growing situation we come face to face with in this work is trying to work out the justifications for why has this happened (re-illnesses) and often these are glibly put down as learning pathways for your soul or spirit or whatever. To my mind this simply doesn't fit. That's like saying all things which manifest in the physical life are somehow at the behest of spirit or God or whatever....even our own fault in some past life we cannot control.
If human beings face the fact that we are here in the physical and subject to all things physical. The learning lessons are for each of us to learn to make this world a better place and to hopefully take some of this learning to the spirit world to share. The fact we embark on this isn't an order...we can sit on the couch of life happily and watch it all go by or morally so, if we do not have the faculties of physical awareness for reasons genetic, then surely we are not then at fault because we have no failure but rather simply our genetics failed. That isn't a problem of the spirit world but of our physical reality. All physical life is in itself imperfect otherwise none of us would even face death.
When we regard one life, we do our best. When we link and work with spirit we do the same...no different, otherwise we would not be living up to what we would wish of others creating toward us.
People wrestle with negative thought continuously until each of us reaches our own awareness of the True State of Being. To want proof is simply defining justification; were your decisions right or wrong?
Well they are what you made them in relation to everything else at the time, of spirit or your own creation...it matters not as it is all the same thing. Not that I am saying your spirit is responsible for everything you do either, because I am not. Physically you are. But try stopping beating yourself up. Your illness...why not you? Do you think it would wear any better on a child in Africa...do you think this is what spirit want for you to think? We are each blessed, whether we see it or identify with it or not. You are blessed for you see it. How wonderful is that, how beautiful you must feel.

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Permalink Reply by Nicola on June 20, 2009 at 3:21pm

I think "why me" because I was very strong emotionally and physically, looking after to very sick parents, then my Brother got sick with M.E and has been bed ridden for over 10 years, then my Dad died of a heart attach aged just 53, and my mother was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis at 32 and is now nearly 60 and slowly dying from complications, I was her carer, but I got sick to, and now I am useless to help her and myself, all I can do is talk to spirit.
I think everyone goes through a "why me" moment when struck down with a debilitating illness, and trust me my life has been no Disney book...
I am aware, of two of my past lives, and my soul is from 14th century. I have done many wrongs, and I don't believe you are punished for them next time around but you do have the opportunity to better yourself. I believe you choose your parents and stages in your new life before you enter it, and your spirit guides are the friends you made in spirit.
Yes by all means take what you can from life, don't waist it, do good make people happy, smile plenty, if your that way inclined, but for every one of these people there are several new souls coming up behind starting there journey of what it is like to be spiritual, hence the reason I think the planet earth will always be at war, due to so many differing opinions born from so many different stages of spiritual growth and awareness. I guess I am still spiritually growing myself, and my opinions may change but from what I have seen so far, I have no reason to change my views just yet ;O)

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